Safe @Home

Words - mainly created to help us understand this world better. Every word has a designated meaning, which authenticates its own existence. Some words as uttered, also evoke emotions, we are conditioned to react in a particular way, the moment we hear them. For instance the word SAFE – we feel protected, secure. It soothes our senses, as we hear “you are safe now!” wow! What feeling!

Once I accompanied a friend of mine, to a button shop. As she chose different laces, buttons, borders, I couldn’t resist my temptation and bought a few, without knowing what I will do with them. Since I had some change in my pocket which sufficed the amount I had to pay, I cleared my bill and looked at her. She was busy in her treasure hunt, looking for the change in her wallet, which was open wide on the counter of the shop and a thick bundle of green notes peeking out from the opposite side of the wallet. It was the attention grabber and as I looked up, an odd bunch of people were looking at it as well, including the shopkeeper. The moment froze for the moment, while I felt the chill. Now damage was done, and pin pointing her mistake there would not only made it embarrassing for her, but could highlight it even more and create more problems. So without reacting, I waited for her to clear her bill. Although we were supposed to buy few more things, I insisted to go back home.

It was odd one km walk from that button shop to home, but I can say the longest distance I had ever felt. I wanted to sprint away from her, declaring she is not with me, but friends don’t do that. I just insisted her to walk a bit fast down the deserted alley. My anxiety was clearly reflecting on my face, she noticed and asked “stomach problem?” I looked at her, thinking of a very good reply, but just nodded so she could cope up with my speed. Every bike or walking shadow, as passed by, made me skip a beat. I was so scared that day that if any stranger had stopped me to ask the time even, I would have given him all my valuables and begged him for mercy of my life. The last thing I wanted to do was to die because of someone else’s stupidity!

Finally we reached home, and I started breathing again. After cooling down my nerves I calmly explained the situation to my friend, and she realized her mistake. May be it will help her in future, but yes, I was safe now. I was in my home. A place I have secured and I am comfortable and not scared of anyone or anything. Whether it is irregular maid, or non satisfactory service by electrician, plumber or carpenter, I can grab the collar and make him understand his mistake fearlessly, as it is my area, my home, my authority. Don’t mess with me here. Yes, I hear and read all the time, how someone was brutally murdered in their own home while they were sleeping. I have even shared the grief of a family friend who was in Dubai for his job assignment and his two toddler kids were waiting outside the play school, waiting for their mother to pick them up, while she was brutally murdered in her own house in daylight by a computer service man over a dispute of non satisfactory service. Which brings me to question “Is home really a safe place?” or is it a blind eye optimism we are living with. With time, I have realized that few things can help you avoid some unpleasant incidents, and I am practicing those. A lady alone at home is not at times safe. I am sharing it here, in a hope it might help someone:

1. If a serviceman is entering your house – do not hesitate to check the ID card. Don’t bolt or close the main door. If possible inform your neighbor about his presence.


2. Keep a kitchen knife or something similar handy or in your range.


3. If more than one serviceman are there, request and permit only one to enter. If they are logical, they will completely understand and co-operate with your request.


4. For maids, many things are suggested by police, depends on you how you judge and comply.

A few might laugh reading above. Yes most of us don’t give a sh*t till we become one. We cannot change the destiny. Anything can happen to anyone anywhere, but surely it should not be because of our carelessness or stupidity. We are safe wherever and whenever we feel we are. It is a feeling we sometimes create for ourselves and for those we love.

The Platter Is Served..Enjoy!

“Life is all about choices we make”. Yes, we have choices. We can choose. In this world where we live have a multidimensional kaleidoscope and I guess so has every single quote - a different dimension. Every mind has its own way of interpreting and understanding the world from its own dimension.

As a mother of two, I always chose to be mother above everything else. ‘Everything' – it meant my love for my kids was above the books I loved to sleep and wake up with, the unexplored world I dream of, the words I always loved to play with. I often had choices but I always felt that being the mother is the right choice.

The greatest lessons of life that we learn come when we least expect them and from people we could hardly imagine from. They need not rattle us instantaneously always; sometimes a soft nudge is enough to change the path.

It was the time when my son was six year old, old enough to understand the directions yet young enough to resist the temptations. His weakness for sweets made it at times tough for me to handle him but at the same time love him even more.

One fine day he came and asked for more than one dessert after his meal. He saw pastries in the fridge and knew about the laddoos I made for him.

I told him “You can have laddoo OR pastry” he nodded and went. Later I saw him enjoying a laddoo.

After some time when I checked my refrigerator there was an anomaly in the number of pastries I last checked.

So I asked if he had relished one.

He answered “yes”

It was for the first time he disobeyed me – yes it was bit perturbing.  

“Aryan I asked you to have either one but not both” I reasoned him.

He innocently replied “You said you can have laddoo OR (Aur/and) Pastry. So you only told me to have both”

I was not ready for this reply. “Aryan I meant OR – means either of two and not Aur as in Hindi that means ‘and’ ”

“How do I know that ma” he simply shrugged.

I opened my mouth but had nothing to say. It was simple interpretation.  Language was not a barrier; mind simply understood what it wanted to. I could not do anything but frown with the thought “Englis is a phunny language”

Although I made the concepts clear for him for the future but this Or/Aur conflict bugged me somewhere subconsciously. Why, I could not figure out.

A few days later it was a casual meet of the mothers in the garden area where kids,family and maids are the prime topics of discussion, rose a topic where I started ‘I wanted to do something but you know I had to choose being mother OR….

I stopped! I could not speak further. I figured out what was wrong. I had whole concept mistaken. Life is all about choices, but life has given us the opportunity to choose none to infinite. There is no lower and upper limit in choosing. We can choose nothing OR everything. We can choose this and that and the list might trail beyond the horizon.

In this world the word ‘choice’ mostly entitles us to choose between one OR another but this life has a different meaning of ‘choice’ – it lays a platter in front of us and smiles at us letting us pick one or handful – that depends on us. It depends on you - you can #UseYourOr OR #UseYourAnd

This time I chose to be a student who continued her studies and completed a two year degree with 8.6 CGPA. I chose to be a writer who always felt good after writing. I chose to be an independent person who explored the world around her on her own. I chose to be a teacher who always felt that her little contribution might make a small difference in the society. AND I never stopped being the mom I always was and will be. There is much more in store for me because this OR/AUR – has a different meaning now and I am still learning to pick my choices from the platter till my hands are full.

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.
Theme - Journey from ‘OR’ to ‘AND’

Who Am I?

I, me, myself – most of our thoughts and conversations begin and hover around these. The world around me, the objectives and subjective I am part of and so on. But then someone today asked me to define. Define myself – well I stammered and paused because I was not sure of the question.

I can be defined as what I came here as and I can be what I will leave here as. I have no role in previous but I have an array of choices for the second.

I came here as –

A grand daughter ~ I understood what precious means.They pampered me; they made me sit in their lap and showed me the world no one else ever could ~ The world or fairies and angels; gods and devils. They sowed the seeds of virtues and nurtured them with love and let them grow and flourish with time.

A daughter ~ I understood what knowledge means. They gave me books to educate me and words to give me wisdom. They gave me freedom to enjoy the life and promises to stand on principles. Every victory shone in their eyes as a spark of pride. The reflection of me in their eyes made me happy from inside.

A Sister ~ I understood what sharing means. They sat next to me holding a bar of chocolate offering me their share or nibbling from mine. Fighting over share and yet feeling incomplete without sharing was the charm that still makes me smile.

I chose to be –

A wife ~ I understood what promises are; for better or for worse; in sickness and in health. A person who comes as a stranger in your life but overpowers all other relations that you stay with him till ‘death do us part’.

A daughter-in-law ~ I understood what family is. They accepted me as their own and showed me a path to tread. The support and warmth made me stronger than before.

A sister-in-law ~ I understood what bonding is. They stood with me like friends do and made me laugh on my mistakes. The taught me to let go and rise beyond. They helped me to look beyond where I could see and explore the world I could never see.

A mother ~ I understood what caring is. They say ‘son becomes a father and father becomes a son’ but a mother… I discovered she would always be a daughter, a sister, a wife and much more and still she will be a mother who has to pass on everything to her children that she has learnt till now and yet she dreams that they do much more. I cared for them even before they opened their eyes in this world; I feared for the things that never existed; I smiled and cried at the things that made no sense. The word ‘love’ has a different meaning now.

I can be whatever I want to be. I can be a teacher or an astronaut; I can be a singer or a doctor but I am… a woman, like any other woman. I am the reflection of what this society is and I am the foundation stone of what this society will be.  I am just a human wearing the cloak of a woman. They think they are different from us. Yes, they are different – they and we are the two sides of the same life without which it is of no value. Yes we all are… We all are different yet we connect because our existence and our choices ~ are same.

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“. 

Theme - Things that define me.