"Courage is what it takes to stand up
and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen" – Winston
Churchill.
God has bestowed special attribute to
everyone. Among them one classic power is Vocal command. Or can we say
language, as it is not the noise, but an intricate network between tongue,
larynx, brain, heart, weaved together and the product that comes out is a
conversationalist. Based on this, we classify the world majorly between
speakers and listeners. A person realizes this god gift and nurture it further,
till he perfects it. But there exists the other species that are not so
fortunate, and are commonly known as listeners. We describe their association
as one man’s pain is other man’s pleasure. Based on my (y)ears of listening experience,
though every speaker is unique and a classic example, it gives me thousands of
reasons why he/she should be the next statue in Madame Tussauds Museum. They
somewhere sound like bombs. Since the bombs are categorized, so are they :
Category one
“Sutli Bomb” - This is a
special Made in India category, where the moment you bring the spark near the
bomb there is no guarantee. It can explode there and then at times without
giving u time to escape –
Here comes her victim, I mean me...
“Hello” I ignited the bomb!!
“Hello ji! How r u? omg! The
weather is acting so funny these days. My kids are down with fever, I was
trying to cope up between their illness, my maid, school, don’t u think they are
running so fast as far as their syllabus is concerned, when is the sports day,
I hope my maid comes that day, Mrs. Sharmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………”
Meanwhile I try my level best to cope up with the subjects, trying to respond,
the topic shifts faster than the speed of light and my response level stays to” yes” “ofc...” “kintu...”
“Par....” “ya” “sur....” “paran..” “True” “but” “na..............” And I need water, air. My body revolts
- Bhaago (Run) but I can’t, I am caught in her web of
words. I visualize myself like tom cat, who is run over by a road roller again
and again... sigh... bachao
kehne ka koi fayda nahin hai !!(No
rescue) This category needs no punctuation, no intake of air, water. The
coordination between different body parts is so rapid that it leaves no space
for other person. Needs no switch on button and till date I have not discovered
how to switch them off.
Category two
"Trigger Bomb" – The bomb
that explodes with a special trigger. A listener has to be smart enough to not
only understand but also remember those triggers. Sometimes mere an alphabet
like ‘I’ is needed for them to explode.
Here is a demo
“Hello, how are you. I am..”
“Hi, check my new lipstick shade, oh this is a new ring, I got myself a
week ago, just like that, I have lost 2 kgs, my new sofa looks awesome when I sit
on it, I was the inspiration of the new party..”
These bombs explode in a high pitch, it is so loud that you cannot hear your
own sound. Yes, faint voices in the head might be felt which keep pushing your
body to run! Run to the farthest possible place, away but alas it is of no
help.
The only word that can be understood here is - I. .. It’s the “I me” kind, they have a
big topic, I...the world revolves around them, centre of earth, attraction,
everything. It’s comparatively easy to answer them, a smile and “ WOW, wow, wow, wow, well, wow,
really, amazing, wow,great,good ”.
Word of caution – Compliment! Never
try to compliment because if any sentence which sounds like a compliment to
them increases their coordination of organs, multiple times... like a catalyst.
Category three
"Time bomb" – I guess
this category is self explanatory; Although I find this category most deadly because
there is no symptom or warning signal. They will give you time and space. But
actually they are taking time to create a space for themselves and as a topic
is touched, they explode. There will be debate, explanation and in depth wiki
knowledge where you will be drowned to the depth of Mariana Trench and trust me
however hard you try you can never survive. Unlike above two categories where
mostly a woman takes the credit, this category led the invention and inclusion
of the word ‘mansplaining’ in the oxford dictionary.
Category four
"Butterfly bomb" – This
is not exactly a bomb, but a cracker which comes after you once it is ignited.
So once activated people can see you running ahead and sparks all over chasing
you.
Here is a demo with shaking hands :
“Hello” I am scared.
“Hi, How r u? You look slim”
“Really!!!! ”
“Na, I think u r just wearing loose clothes”
“Uh!”
“Is it a new facial, which makes u look little younger, or u took a
botox?”
“Eh??”
“Your kids are performing well, I heard?”
“Yaaaaaa”
“You got them some extra tuition or what? I heard even this school takes
the bribe to put the kids ahead!!!!! ”
“Err,na”
“Anyways, take care, your fine lines are showing up bye”
The sarcaholics ..They can’t live if they won’t get
their victim; they grab u like a lion grabs a deer, by neck. Uff , u can just struggle but can’t speak
or retaliate. They are like a tiger on the hunt, from where and how they will
pounce on you, only they can tell, and I RIP for the next two days with heavy
doses of alprex.
Category five
"Firework" - Once ignited it doesn't explode like any of the above category rather
displays a magnificent firework.
“Hi”
“Hello”
“How r you?”
“I m good”
“Good to hear that...”
And finally there comes a perfect blend of sense, sensibility and emotions.
Someone, who echoes your emotions, highlights your thoughts, hypnotizes you so
well that you speak her language and it leads you to the level that you can’t
resist her company, die to talk to her again and again. Takes you to a roller-coaster ride, from entertainment to enlightenment, from sorrow to
ecstasy, from subtle to loud, and you wish it never stops, but since roller-coaster ride is limited so that the craze stays. You think about them and
wish for the next encounter...Of course they are the only motivation why I have
kept myself on more of listening side.
Now it’s your turn to speak :)
