Tuesday, 14 October 2014

The Road So Traveled...

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision~ Helen Keller

Look, see, glance, watch, stare, gaze – some gestures we describe that our eyes do. But they do things beyond. They are busy creating a memory for us, sometimes without our knowing. I recently saw the movie 'highway'.I have been reading the reviews which are talking about the subtle messages, cinematography and lot more. But my experience was tad different.I always believe that everyone connects differently with things around him; may those be people or situations or the movies. While people around me were more engrossed with the story line, actors, music, dialogues or the subtle message I was really busy with the Highways. The roads they traveled and my memory played a parallel kaleidoscope for me.

I could connect with every road; as the sand infringed the concrete and the cars pushed them back; the mountains stooping over the road as if held by Hercules for us to pass; the barrage connecting two states with a dam barricades exactly underneath them with gallons of water on one side waiting for the doors to let it through.

I remembered my journeys – it’s been almost two decades now that I am sitting next to a person and have seen so many places together in different cars, with different co-passengers, in different seasons and reasons. I have seen sunrises and sunsets, laid back and saw us racing towards the horizon or at times stooping over the dashboard in a hope to pierce through the dense fog and look beyond. At some deserted roads where the birds were not used to of vehicles and flew so low that we had to slow down so that they could cross over safely or saw monkeys watching us zoom by. A place nearly 4000 m above sea level with mountains as a wall and nothing to stop us from falling down on other, a single road which was intentionally not repaired and was guarded by army or the waterfalls that flowed down the roads.

A place in India where we would not see sand or rocks on the sides but the nature would cover its black soil with white cotton; soft white long strands everywhere - on trees, sideways like a white soft blanket.

The roads which ran parallel to rivers – the flow of water could excite you and scare you to death, depends how you think. The coast lines that made the roads curve so beautifully that we could see sun drowning in the sea.

A few of my friends suggested that they felt the movie was bit depressing but for me it was different – it was a memory I never thought would have existed. Yes, the destination was important but the road we traveled was a part of me.

Eyes are the windows to our souls. They are two way roads; very few want to take the route to reach the other side. At times babies smile when they look in our eyes or sometimes they don’t – I feel they can read us clearly inside out. As we grow, we stop reading or at times feel have forgotten that art, but the truth is, it is there, just that we are so busy looking at everything else but the eyes.

Beyond all this, they do something which we don’t see but might see – dreams. Our mind think but they visualize, they make that idea a vision, a dream which we might change into reality. I dream with my open eyes, when I held my babies in my lap, and after years I now feel that my dreams might shape up the way I visioned them to be. I am still praying and my fingers are still crossed.

A few years back I was associated with an organization headed by a very dynamic lady in her fifties. It so happened that we had organized counselling session with an experienced guest speaker and participants invited in an open forum. The strength turned out good and everyone enjoyed the session.

Later an informal interaction over snacks was also organized. I stood happily with the head of the organization and the guest speaker when we saw one of the attendants pointing towards us and a young lady thanking him and walking towards us with a smile. She came close and wished us, then darted her eyes towards me and addressed me as the head of that organization and making the kind request to consider her for a suitable position. Well, I was bit embarrassed, at least appeared to be but from inside I felt the wings growing and flapping. Controlling my emotions I used my never trained Bharatnatyam eye mudras to gesture her towards the right person, and she was smart enough to take the pointers and redirected her rest of the remnants towards her. While she finished the guest lecturer and I were busy controlling our smiles from escaping, and avoided all the eye contacts. But our head was a seasoned lady; she very quickly and in a refined way clipped my wings saying the girl was a non-deserving candidate.

Duh! Just because the candidate made a small error, she was rejected. Was it such strong blow on her ego? This was not fair. I sulked but I had no justifications. I don’t know why the candidate made such judgement, what she was thinking. Could she read my eyes, felt her comfort zone with me rather than pride reflected in others, which any nervous candidate might look for. I would have loved to know it or may be not. I wish!

A faint music played in my mind… tore naina bade dagabaaz re … and I closed my eyes:)